Penile Dialogues

Well there comes a time in a man’s life when he must stand up and be heard. Some chap-y once said all it takes for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing. Well I guess I am one of those “good men” who has decided that something must be done.

There I was searching you-tube looking for dirty videos, and obviously I thought searching for “key” words such as Vagina might help. Next thing I know, to my delight a whole bunch of these vagina monologue videos turn up, and I am thinking this must be some sort of new politically correct terminology for an independent women doing her thing

Next thing I know I am being bombarded by some pretty angry women (pretty-angry women not pretty angry-women) , all screaming about rape torture, and all sort of other things you don’t want to ear about in your R&R time. Who would have thought that women walking about their vaginas could be so off-putting?

Well I decided that this is wrong, and I must take a stand for all men and write something in return. Something from the men’s side of it, and this is how it went.

Well, it’s quite understandable that with women, it has to be a monologue. That’s hardly a surprise. But men converse….men have a dialogue. Hence this piece became Penile Dialogue .. Has a nice ring to it don’t you think so?

Well so far it has been all background. Now that the time of actually writing something for this blog entry, actually write something pertaining to the title of this piece..well…..lets look at an excerpt from good ol’ eveies stuff

I BET YOU'RE WORRIED.

I WAS WORRIED.

THAT'S WHY I BEGAN THIS PIECE.

I WAS WORRIED ABOUT VAGINAS.

, I WAS WORRIED WHAT WE THINK ABOUT VAGINAS

AND I WAS EVEN MORE WORRIED

THAT WE DON'T THINK ABOUT THEM.

I WAS WORRIED ABOUT MY OWN VAGINA.

IT NEEDED A CONTEXT, A COMMUNITY,

A CULTURE OF OTHER VAGINAS.

THERE IS SO MUCH DARKNESS AND SECRECY SURROUNDING THEM, (I agree)

LIKE THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE,

LIKE A WHAT !!!

OK. Now do you realize the basic basic difference here? There is NO way I am going to be talking about my penis. And there is no way that I want to talk about some one else’s penis. Hell if I was worried about my penis, I wouldn’t want to talk about anything at all.

So here I am with a title but cant really write anything about the first part of it. So I have decided to have a dialogue…with myself.

I: You do realize you keep taking my place

Me: Hey can’t help it if most people don’t know when to use you.

I: Well I guess I’m just a lonely word, people don’t want to use me much.

Me: Are you getting senti on me now? Better not or the only other piece of work you will ever get is on the next Ensler play “My Vagina and I.”

Myself: Ok..now when I started writing this dialogue it was going to be about me, now the rambling of some ridiculous personification of two personal pronouns.

I: So much for a dialogue, now it s a group discussion!!

Me: well at least you aren’t mopping around anymore. So I guess more the angrier.

Myself: Dear reader I do apologies for this. This was supposed to be an intellectual dialogue between me and my alter ego, supposed to enlighten you, but its turned into..

I: Shut up! I won’t let me do to me what will did to shall. I SHALL keep my place in the hallowed nuttiness of the English language.

Myself: thanks for reading the all this nonsense….. this is getting out of control…till the next blog entry…”How to Cheat friends and Influence the stock markets”