Well this is my first blog entry for 2010. What have I been up to all this while? Well I have been conducting a sociological study of the Phenomenon called Facebook. I am on it, you are on it, my grandmother is on it!
Well let’s get some things clear, it’s not a social tool, it’s not a networking tool, it can only be called a masturbatory tool. (No a Blog is completely different). Now at a click of a button we can all be the center of our own little virtual universe. Now you and I can play Moses, only difference being Moses had an upper cap of 10 on his little snippets, but you and I can keep on adding one every day, hour or minute, If one wises.
Consider some rather common posts or “What’s on your Mind” Updates we have seen. And these can broadly categorized in the following buckets
- Apps Update
- Amit has Just challenged you to a game of Strip Poker
- Sumit has taken the Test “Who is your Soul mate:” – And it’s an Orangutang in the Mysore Zoo called Arun-gatang
- Harpreet has just finished milking the cow in Farmville. Wink Wink If you know what I mean
- Osama has just gotten his top score in ‘Kill the Infidels’
- Emotional Atyachar Updates
· :(
· Why does this always happen to me?? :(
· missing my sweetie pie :(
· You have always been there for me, through my ups and downs.. I love you mom
· People are such creeps, my nude pictures uploaded on my profiles are only for my friends and family, but every pervert out there wants to invade my privacy :(
- GPS Updates
- Going to office – I hate morning meetings
- Am at the top of the empire state building, the view is stunning!
- Just got undressed and entered the shower, hope none of my friends is a serial killer
- I’m in the loo, taking a poo
- OOO I am such a smarty- pants Update
- I think the budget this time has taken a step in the right direction toward improving blah blah”
- Just read Salman Rushdie’s Midnight children.. Oh! What prose!, can’t wait to read it again
- The one who laughs last, probably dint get it
- If you are against narrow mindedness, child labour, poverty, stupidity, nuclear war, world hunger, Orkut, Communal forces, copy this post and put it up to show your support…yes just pressing the Like button is not good enough, you need to copy this on your wall…then it will make a real difference
- Information Updates
- The Chicken Breast I had last night was just delicious
- …..actually I think it was a chicken leg…..mmmm.. and a women’s breast!
- Anyone who might have seen my last post, please don’t tell my wife
- I am writing my new blog
- Guess what , I am still wring my blog
- Taking a break from writing my Blog
- Am back to writing my blog
- I just got divorced
Now you would think, why would a reasonable person, a normal person, a sane person, give a fcuk about any of these updates, but strangely people do. It appears that we all are configured to respond. By clicking on the Like button, commenting on such posts with equally mindless abandon.
But what makes us, or compels us spew anything and everything that comes to our mind, or things we want others to believe comes from our mind? So I asked the world renowned expert Prof. C Yithau (Claim to fame being his revolutionary work on Small Talk). Here is a small excerpt from that Interview
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Q. Prof. C Yithau, I would like to thank you for giving the cribbing Critic your voluble time for this study
A. It’s always a pleasure talking to you
Q. Professor tell us more about your new study on Facebook
A. Well I have been working with a crack team from Rawalpindi University to study Facebook and its effect on modern culture. So I have spent the last year living with chimpanzees and Pakistanis communicating only through Facebook
Q. Fascinating! And what were your findings?
A. Well it’s been an incredible experience, the chimps were excellent in growing bananas on their Farmville farm. Though they did get upset when they dint get any top eat. We had to replace some of those laptops few times
Q . Amazing! What else were you able to understand?
A. Well my hypotheses what that the Id , ego and Super ego have evolved into… hahahah Susan just threw a banana at me on Facebook. Wait I’ll throw it back at her
Q. hmmm….mm… who is Susan?
A. J hahahaha… Oh…..Susan is one of my chimps…..We became VERY close. We took a “how compatible are you” test on Facebook and scored a 100% J J J
Q. Oh…mmm… how nice…. But doctor, if you could tell me a bit more on your study
A. Hahaha …..What? Oh yes, it was very informative….. Damn! Susan just challenged me to Strip Poker…I keep telling her, you don’t wear cloths! so I win by default, but she gets so upset, so I just pretend to lose….Let me just take my shirt off..
Q. Maybe we should continue this interview when…mmm…you not strip-ping….
A. What? Damn that Susan, she threw a banana at me again! I’ll show her! I’ll milk the cow and get 1000 Points and throw a dress at her... hahahaha…
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So folks this is where my interview ended, but this was just a first in my extensive study of the Facebook Phenomenon. I went on to speak to Osama Bin Laden, Shashi Tharoor, Susan, and many more experts in this field… So please stay tuned for my next installment on the Facebook Whitepapers….but maybe it I will write on Twitter….. or should it be on orkut…or myspace..or … in any case, you can be rest assured that it will be something very intelligent and insightful. Ciao!
