Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily
What the..! Is that actually me?
To row that boat
All on my own
While the beastly buggers
Just chant and sing
Nay I say, I’l go my own way
Right up, not down that stream
And crib about this stupid dream
Monday, July 23, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
A comparative: James Bond Vs I (Ver 1.1)
Jimmy and I go back a long way, I first got acquainted with him when my age was still in single digits, since then he has changed, and so have I. There has been a lot of personal growth, physical growth and some mental growth. In so many ways our lives have been moving in parallel…………………..…with a few subtle differences of course.
Gadgets: We have all seen them, the watch with a laser, the cigarettes with poison darts, the X-ray glasses (my personal favorite). Well……growing up; I had this little action figure. I used to call it my doll, till I learnt of the politically correct male terminology. A fat bald guy with a cape in his underwear. (NO. I did to choose it; it was a hand-me down toy). A pretty cool doll….$#%#%!! Sorry, action figure...it was hollow and had a hole in the bottom. And I used to practice my martial arts by punching its stomach in, and given its physical make up, it made a big wheezing sound as it uncoiled back to it original shape. I LOVED IT…probably because it was so old and dirty, the air coming out of the hole used to smell bad. I told all my friends it was a magical action figure. It could fart!
Transport: Both Jimmy and I have been known to travel by highly maneuverable, chauffeured, three wheeled automotives. While he was driven by Vijay Amritraj, I am generally driven by psychotic, Rajnikant look-alikes.
The Villains: Diabolical super baddies bent on taking over the world, and destroying Bond in some particularly unpleasant manner. – “And now Mr., Bond you die…”. Sounds like every teacher I’ve had in school. – “And now Mr. Krishnan, that chit tucked inside your socks please”
The Babes: Yes I saved the best for the last…how often we have heard, ”OOH James” by some hottie, unfortunately, by the time the ladies finish, ”OOOH Ramakrishnan Krishnan” The job at hand is done and I am busy trying to convince Rajni to take me home.
More to come soon.
Gadgets: We have all seen them, the watch with a laser, the cigarettes with poison darts, the X-ray glasses (my personal favorite). Well……growing up; I had this little action figure. I used to call it my doll, till I learnt of the politically correct male terminology. A fat bald guy with a cape in his underwear. (NO. I did to choose it; it was a hand-me down toy). A pretty cool doll….$#%#%!! Sorry, action figure...it was hollow and had a hole in the bottom. And I used to practice my martial arts by punching its stomach in, and given its physical make up, it made a big wheezing sound as it uncoiled back to it original shape. I LOVED IT…probably because it was so old and dirty, the air coming out of the hole used to smell bad. I told all my friends it was a magical action figure. It could fart!
Transport: Both Jimmy and I have been known to travel by highly maneuverable, chauffeured, three wheeled automotives. While he was driven by Vijay Amritraj, I am generally driven by psychotic, Rajnikant look-alikes.
The Villains: Diabolical super baddies bent on taking over the world, and destroying Bond in some particularly unpleasant manner. – “And now Mr., Bond you die…”. Sounds like every teacher I’ve had in school. – “And now Mr. Krishnan, that chit tucked inside your socks please”
The Babes: Yes I saved the best for the last…how often we have heard, ”OOH James” by some hottie, unfortunately, by the time the ladies finish, ”OOOH Ramakrishnan Krishnan” The job at hand is done and I am busy trying to convince Rajni to take me home.
More to come soon.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
A Magnanimous Thought
The clock strikes 12, and the only thing that seems real is that I am starving, and the truth that is truly the most bitter to swallow is that there won’t be any lunch before 1 O clock. At times like these I think of the many hungry people of the world who will have to wait for a lot longer than one hour before they can eat. Its time like this I realize that people don’t give such things enough thought, if they did they would'nt subject me to this horror and get me my $&T%&* Lunch right now!!!
Ps: Life sucks, get over it.
Ps: Life sucks, get over it.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
A book spoiler written before Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
Dear Fans of Mr.Potty(also known affectionately referred to as shithead). Here is the summarised version 2.0 of J.K Rowings Latest Pottybook: HARRY POTTY AND THE HALF SANE PRINCE
It was a warm summer, and with the rising heat, Harry had grown accustomed to the heat in his pants too. He was now growing up and learning the joys and trials of a sexual awakening. He really missed Ron and that girl.
It was on a really "hot" night that professor Dumbobore paid Harry a visit. Dumbobore had looked after Harry during the past 5 years at Hogwhores School of magic tricks. He had seen Harry grow up from a young child to a youthful nubile boy of stature and "size". He felt that he was mature enough to be told the terrible truth about his parents. At this time potty was crying like a sissy boy about the pain in his scar, when he suddenly felt being felt up. He woke up with a jerk and saw Prof. Dumbobore . The Dirty old Prof smiled kindly smiled at him and said in a deep rumbling voice, "Potty I am your Father", Harry had a sense of Deja vu, but he let it pass and hugged him. Dumbobore slowly explained to him , how he and Lord Vodkamore had been something of an Item, and had adopted him, but due to the drunken ways of Lordy, he had to flee and leave Harry in the custody of the first house without the front light on.
From here on lots of shit happened, finally back in school, Potty met up with Cho Bang, and made out with her, but somehow the fear of Lord Vodkamore would not let him rise to the occasion. Further he made the shocking discovery the Herpesony was a hermaphrodite.( somehow he felt that he could relate better to her, this way, knowing that they had so much in common). skipping a lot of boring shit, there is a threesome between Potty, Ronand & Herpesony.
Towards the thrilling conclusion of the never ending book, Prof. Dumbobore and Lord Vodkamore Battle out over the Patent rights of the Rabbit in the Hat Trick, tragicly ending in Dumbobore being turned into a Glass of Bloddy Mary, (Vodkamore's classic spell),and getting drunk by Rons useless Owl. But fear not! Potty and Friends ingeniously bring out the Clause of no alcohol Advertisements and escape Dumbobore's bitter end, and live on the fight another day, another book and another 899Rs for the next Installment of Harry Pottyand the Curse of Constipation.
Pls Pls don't tell ppl who are yet to read the book the end.
It was a warm summer, and with the rising heat, Harry had grown accustomed to the heat in his pants too. He was now growing up and learning the joys and trials of a sexual awakening. He really missed Ron and that girl.
It was on a really "hot" night that professor Dumbobore paid Harry a visit. Dumbobore had looked after Harry during the past 5 years at Hogwhores School of magic tricks. He had seen Harry grow up from a young child to a youthful nubile boy of stature and "size". He felt that he was mature enough to be told the terrible truth about his parents. At this time potty was crying like a sissy boy about the pain in his scar, when he suddenly felt being felt up. He woke up with a jerk and saw Prof. Dumbobore . The Dirty old Prof smiled kindly smiled at him and said in a deep rumbling voice, "Potty I am your Father", Harry had a sense of Deja vu, but he let it pass and hugged him. Dumbobore slowly explained to him , how he and Lord Vodkamore had been something of an Item, and had adopted him, but due to the drunken ways of Lordy, he had to flee and leave Harry in the custody of the first house without the front light on.
From here on lots of shit happened, finally back in school, Potty met up with Cho Bang, and made out with her, but somehow the fear of Lord Vodkamore would not let him rise to the occasion. Further he made the shocking discovery the Herpesony was a hermaphrodite.( somehow he felt that he could relate better to her, this way, knowing that they had so much in common). skipping a lot of boring shit, there is a threesome between Potty, Ronand & Herpesony.
Towards the thrilling conclusion of the never ending book, Prof. Dumbobore and Lord Vodkamore Battle out over the Patent rights of the Rabbit in the Hat Trick, tragicly ending in Dumbobore being turned into a Glass of Bloddy Mary, (Vodkamore's classic spell),and getting drunk by Rons useless Owl. But fear not! Potty and Friends ingeniously bring out the Clause of no alcohol Advertisements and escape Dumbobore's bitter end, and live on the fight another day, another book and another 899Rs for the next Installment of Harry Pottyand the Curse of Constipation.
Pls Pls don't tell ppl who are yet to read the book the end.
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
2007
Well, its 2007, Yippee. Another step towards, middle age, old age, senility and finally the ultimate climax Death!
I have always been struck by how people think that a new year is something to celebrate, how does our life really change? Is it like monopoly that is you finish a round and you get money, do all your problems from the previous year just disappear? Is it possible that every one who pisses you off might become more agreeable this year? Nah!! (Unless some of those people reach that ultimate climax). it would make more sense, to celebrate change of season, hey is no longer summer, no more sweating like a pig, yippee, hey it’s no longer winter Yippee, no more freezing my balls off. I guess anything could be a better reason.
What really pisses me off I is all those television shows with their bloody countdowns, walk down memory lane, the top ten stories, the top then songs of the past year, the top ten movies of the year, the top ten idiots who should have their head blow off (OK that’s not yet come on television, but you got to admit, that would be a good show)
Maybe you got the feeling that I am not such a great fan of the New Year, so maybe I am not, but still I have gone ahead like everyone else and made myself a few New Year’s Resolutions.
1. Work Towards world peace – I’m going to do my bit by not killing someone.
2. End world poverty – I’m going to do my bit by opening a charitable fund that supports my basic and my base needs.
3. Stop cruelty to animals – I’m a vegetarian, so I think I am already doing more than my bit.
Yeah……they don’t make nice guys like me anymore.
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